EU Says Britain Must Be Physically Moved Closer to Europe

BRUSSELS - Belgium - A new EU directive ordered from the highest levels has said that Britain is too far away from mainland Europe and it may have to have its shores brought closer.

“Ve haff vays of making you move the land mass of Britain so ve can board your island easier und make ze necessary changes to your former country,” Hans Von Richter, an unelected EU representative said Friday.

The EU directive proposes that the English Channel is filled up with concrete and this will thus link up Britain with Europe permanently.

“There won’t be any white cliffs of Dover any more, just a parking lot,” another faceless EU official revealed.

Plans to start the concreting start in 2017.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: euuk

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    1 day ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    2 days ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    5 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.