Royal Baby to be Given Own Cot Palace

“You’d think no one had ever had a baby or something, but ay there’s the rub, this one is supposedly royal. He or she is getting its own cot palace thingy, whatever that is?” a commoner from the streets of London revealed.

With 24/7 royal baby news coverage at the moment how come something of this magnitude has slipped the net?

The royal baby’s cot palace will be equipped with a solid gold nappy changing table resplendent with a diamond encrusted nappy pot where the royal poop will be interred, then discarded by one of the four hundred staff on hand. The Italian marble floors of the play pen were delivered from a quarry somewhere in Naples, and the mother of pearl high chair has a big 40,000 karat diamond on the top of it. Maybe something to play with when dribbling.

“The royal baby’s quarters will still be within Kensington palace’s grounds but some say it is actually more architecturally grandiose than the rather bland Kensington palace itself. Prince Charles himself studied the plans and approved of the design, so that’s definitely a seal of approval,” Charles Butterworth, a royal spokesman revealed to the BBC today.