“Now’s an Ideal Time to Bring in Snoopers Charter” the Party Says After Woolwich Killings

LONDON - England - Sometimes coincidence is purely considered, and sometimes the Hegelian Dialectic is all too obvious for those who can see things properly.

“The enemy is all around us. You must report your neighbours. Your children must report their parents for any indiscretion. You are all now being watched very, very closely and thanks to the Woolwich killing by some brainwashed young angry men, we will enforce the Snoopers Charter which we have been waiting to introduce for a while. It’s rather coincidental that these easily controlled killers were of course pawns in a much larger game. Who knows who was really controlling them? Islam got the blame, as in every other terror exercise, that religion is a very useful tool for our own needs. Remember, War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery and Ignorance is Strength,” a member of the Inner Party said yesterday from the Ministry of Truth.

Totalitarian Creep

The Inner Party source then added: “First we create the problem, then we create the reaction, and then we swan in with the solution. Remember we are doing this for your own safety. You are all guilty now and your every move will be surveilled and analysed. Social surveillance websites are already being used against the proles and we want to take your every Thoughtcrime and incriminate you at every juncture of your pathetic lives. Power is not a means; it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. We will have total power over the proles and we will utilise every weapon in our arsenal to achieve our goal. It is not enough to own your property, as it is the property of the Party, but we want to own your every thought, including your mind, body and soul. Remember, Sector 1 is not exempt from the revolution.”

The next step after the Snoopers Charter will be RFID chipping for the whole population. For your own safety, of course.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    1 day ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    2 days ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    3 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    5 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    5 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    7 days ago

    This website uses cookies.