Comrade Obama Warns Britain NOT to Leave Union of Soviet Socialist Europe

“Britain must not leave the USSE or this could ruin the 5-year collectivisation plan for redistribution of all capitalist wealth and property. I have spoken to Comrade Cameron, and Commissar Clegg and they have assured me that once they’re finished with Britain, all private ownership of property will be erradicated and there will be full assimilation with the Soviet European Union,” Comrade Obama told the USSSA state news service yesterday.

There is a great fear from the former United States that Britain could somehow break away from the Soviet Socialist European project and gain freedom and democracy.

“Once we abolish all property, we will increase our global stranglehold over the capitalist swine outposts still holding out. Let the ruling classes tremble at our communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Workingmen of all countries, unite!” Comrade Obama shouted to cheers from the state controlled news crews.