Japanese Hold Coronavirus Festival

OKAYAMA - Japan - The festival where thousands of naked men are all squashed together has been hailed as a great coronavirus success by the officiating priests.

Thousands of Japanese people stripped down naked and gathered in an enclosed stadium to see who could spread the coronavirus the most.

“This is the stupendous moment I have always been waiting for, to not only have another Jap’s sweaty penis jammed between my buttocks but to contract and spread coronavirus COVID-19 all over Japan,” one squashed naked Japanese sushi worker yelped as the crowd moved forward.

10,000 men take part in the festivities, dressed only in simple white loincloths and tabi socks. This year was very special and the festival prize was changed at the last minute to accommodate the deadly new Chinese virus.

“Sweating, sneezing and touching other half-naked men to spread the coronavirus further is the real prize,” Shinjuku Mara, one of the priests present told Okayama news outlet, JOVI-66.8 FM.

The festivities don’t just end there. Whoever spreads coronavirus to as many festival revellers as possible will receive a swift kick in the gangoolies which is said to bring good luck to the receiver for the year.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    1 day ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    1 week ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.