Empty Chair Person Could Win US Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - An invisible anonymous candidate could be the next President of the United States, Capitol Hill sources have revealed.

Forget about Obama and Romney, a new wild card electoral candidate entered the race for the White House today.

‘Vote Empty Chair Person‘ a billboard outside Capitol Hill says. There is real mystery to this new candidate, who are they, where did they come from?

“I don’t even know if they are male or female or what political ideology they go by? All we see is an empty chair, and sometimes it moves around a bit,” a threatened Obama campaigner told CBS news.

The invisible candidate likes to sometimes rock the chair back and forth and witnesses at a recent campaign event say that they heard the chair’s occupant fall over because there was a big thud noise and an ‘ouch’ sound.

“They must’ve leaned back too far and fallen off the chair. That’ll learn ’em. We had enough dumbass presidents and we don’t need another one, let alone an invisible one,” an undecided voter said at a recent rally in Chicago.

The empty chair candidate has already raised $134 million in its first week and now it has its own tour bus on the Invisible Tour.

“America now has a third choice. Instead of voting for the two losers, you can vote for the invisible chair president. Now that’s a choice you can’t give up, so get on down to your voting booths on the day and vote for the right candidate,” Corby Nash, a neutral electoral official revealed on CNN’s Politics Day show.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: us elections

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.