Royals Watch as Poor People Thrown to Wild Dogs

BALMORAL - Scotland - The Royal Family had a delightful day out at Balmoral on Sunday when over two hundred poor people were thrown to the dogs in front of baying crowds of privileged royalty and rich business people.

Corruptio optimi pessima

Her Majesty looked to be in good spirits today as she cheered on the annual Poor Toss Gathering in Scotland.

Clearly amused by the antics, the 86-year-old monarch was pictured laughing out loud and gesturing with her hands as she sat alongside her husband during the event.

“The Queen loved every moment of this year’s events as the poor people were ripped to shreds by wild dogs bred especially for the event. She even tossed a hand that had landed on her lap back into the dog pit, much to the amusement of everyone attending,” Royal watcher, Albert Huntington-Smythe told the BBC.

Prince Philip seems to have made a full recovery of a recent recurring bladder infection and even managed to push an old man who had lost his home, children, business and pension back into the dog pit himself.

“What a wonderful recovery by the Prince, he had an oik trying to clamber up the pit, and even though he was a little unsteady on his feet still managed to kick the poor fucker back where he was summarily savaged to pieces. Huzzah!” a royal courtier revealed.

The closed event was a great success and will be held at the same time next year, albeit with some fresh poor people.