MISSOURI - USA - A Right Wing Christian Republican Senate nominee, Todd Akin has been brutally and legitimately raped in a Kansas City shopping mall disabled toilet while on a campaigning stop.
“I was legitimately raped in the ass by a big black man called Bubba. My emotions saved me though and I released a hormone so I won’t get AIDS,” Mr Akin said from his hospital bed.
The Senate hopeful will be released from hospital tomorrow and will continue his campaigning for the Republican party.
“If you have a belief in Jesus and you get raped, God releases emotions and hormones that stop bad things happening to you. My belief is the same if women are raped and the body releases a hormone and their emotions stop the sperm. It’s all true because I read it in the bible damn it,” Mr Akin added before rolling his eyes and getting back to his bible study.
Doctors today confirmed that Mr Akin has been legitimately infected with HIV.
SCUNTHORPE - England - Commissar Rachel Reeves has been relegated back to a junior bank…
MANCHESTER - England - Thanks to Labour's open borders policy, small-boat illegals are selling drugs…
LONDON - England - Bring back Olde England and English historical pride should not be…
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Red Ed Miliband, who called Trump a 'racist idiot', has…
OKLAHOMA - USA - Changes are happening all over the country, and an Oklahoma man…
MANCHESTER - England - The newly coronated Comrade Burn'em vows to "cut the cost of…
This website uses cookies.