Romney Will Send Bust of Karl Marx Back When Obama Leaves White House

As soon as Obama won the presidency in 2009 he walked into the White House and ordered the removal of the bust of Winston Churchill, which former president George W Bush had looked at every day of his presidency. Mr Obama replaced the Churchill bust with that of Karl Marx, who he holds in high regard, more so than the British bulldog, Churchill, who fought and won against the Nazis in World War II.

“Barack Hussein Obama sent the Winston Churchill bust back to England where it came from. He couldn’t even look at it in the face. He was practically spitting at that thing because it stood for everything he hated. Freedom and democracy. That is something that makes Obama wince, plus he hates the Brits so much he gets angry at the mere mention of Britain. They hurt his family in Kenya, where he was born, and he will never forget that,” Ellen Shapiro, a White House aide told CNN.

Mitt Romney, however has vowed to restore Churchill to his rightful place, and he will get that Karl Marx statue and send it back to where it came from.

“Obama has created so much debt for our nation that even if every American paid 100% income tax for the next thirty years, there is no way we could ever pay the interest alone on our national debt. This is what we have to work with here. He has effectively ruined America three hundred times over with his reckless spending and he knows what he’s done. I’m going to take the Karl Marx bust and get it melted down, then mould it into the ultimate symbol of capitalism, a can of coke. Barack can have that. When I get into the White House, we’re going to get back into making money, that’s what America is good for and I want all y’all citizens to join me in getting rich. Obama made everyone poor, apart from the public sector workers. Well, under my way, we’re all going to be rich. I’m a business man. I make money, and I want to make so much money that it lifts the stock markets up, the world economy jumps up and we get out of this stinking socialist mess. So what if I’m a Mormon, shit lets get rich fuckers!” Mitt Romney said whilst touring Wisconsin on Friday.

It seems that Americans have two choices come November. Either going for economic riches or poverty.