Comrade Cameron Warns Proles About Thoughtcrime

CHIPPING NORTON - England - Comrade Cameron supreme Soviet Coalition leader has ordered Home Security Commissar May to warn the proles about speech in public and what can happen if anyone says the wrong sort of thing.

Speaking from his dacha in Chipping Norton, Comrade Cameron instructed Commissar May to commence a program of mass surveillance on the people of Britain.

“I have instructed the Commissar for Home Security to begin a program of controlled mass surveillance on all communications available to the proles. This will include all communiques via email, telephone, internet traffic, carrier pigeon or letter writing. All citizens of our great United Soviet EU enclave must adhere to these rules at all times or you will be liquidated. Remember that all your data can also be accessed by council snoopers as well as any government agency that wishes to do so. We will also put all your data forward to the highest bidder, and this will be a nice little money earner for the government.”

Commissar for Home Security, Theresa May said yesterday: “I have been instructed by our supreme leader, Comrade Cameron, to increase surveillance levels on all potential terrorists, i.e. you the population. Everyone is a suspect in Thoughtcrime, and you will be deemed guilty before proven innocent. All you toe rags need shutting up innit. Here, I want you all to enjoy spouting off all your thoughts on the internet because from now on it’s all going to be recorded and filed forever, and used against you whenever we need to, you stupid mugs.”

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE, AND CENSORSHIP WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU. Biden Censorship | Starmer Censorship | Google Censorship
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Millions “Teenage Students” Preparing For the Erasmus Scheme For UK Entry

PARIS - France - Millions of "students" are getting ready for the Erasmus Scheme so…

4 hours ago

Experts: Leftists Disarm and Destroy Nations From Within Whilst Aiding the Enemy

LONDON - England - Leftists disarm and destroy nations from within and have no positive,…

2 days ago

BBC to Trump: “You Dropped a Bomb on Me!”

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Trump just dropped a bomb on the BBC worth $10…

2 days ago

Far Leftists Celebrate as Their Enabled Terrorists Massacre More Jews

BONDI - Australia - The latest massacre killing 16 Jewish civilians by a terror call,…

4 days ago

‘Open Borders’ Green Party Leader Wants More Diversity in Cottaging Industry

HACKNEY - England - The 'open borders' Green Party leader is fed up with the…

5 days ago

The Daily Squib Sold Out!

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib Anthology has sold out!

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.