BRINO Latest: Theresa May Appoints Remain Minister

BRINO PM Theresa May has appointed a Remain minister to be in charge of remaining in the EU.

“I have dispensed with Brexit ministers, that’s two of them to be precise. Instead of a Brexit minister, I have decided to appoint a Remain minister, because it falls more in line with my BRINO Chequers deal. No, I will not take anymore comments thank you,” the PM hurriedly announced this morning.

What will the Remain minister’s duties involve?

Olly Robbins, kindly explained the role of the Remain minister to waiting press outside Number 10 Downing Street.

“As chief Remain operative, we had no qualms about ignoring our previous Brexit ministers, so we are dispensing with the whole Brexit thing anyway due to our remain stance and the cleverly worded dossier we presented to the people that explains why we will remain in the EU. Brexit actually means Remain. Just thought I might reiterate that point. For every step out of the EU, we are assuring the UK makes four steps back into the EU.”

The Remain Minister, Jean Claude Juncker, will start work immediately, first by simply reading Theresa May’s BRINO deal and explaining to reporters why leaving the EU means remaining in the EU.