World

Guy Verhofstadt, the European Parliament’s Brexit Coordinator Eats Cockroach On Live TV

STRASBOURG - France - The so-called Brexit negotiations were today put on hold as Guy Verhofstadt ate fourteen cockroaches whilst talking at the EU parliament building.

“Monsieur Guy Verhofstadt was fuming at the British, calling them swine, this name and that name. From out of nowhere, some cockroaches, these were well seasoned ones – quite large – came up from under his desk and onto his quivering face. Some went onto his glasses, others burrowed into his ears, and from my count, he ate fourteen of them, crunching with gusto their hard shells. One of them was very large, and when he crunched down on it with his teeth, the insides oozed out over his chin. Guy Verhofstadt, simply slurped up the greenish slime with his long tongue, then continued on as if nothing happened,” Jean Gilles Punaise, a senior delegate for the EU’s transport commission in Strasbourg told news media after the talk.

Infestation

There has been talk about cockroach infestation in the EU parliament for some time, but it’s not just about unelected members of the EU Commission that are being referenced to, in fact, the little creatures infesting the parliament are quite hard to keep under control and are hardy little critters.

“Our EU pest control directive, number 2389-1a says that cockroaches are to be controlled in numbers but they have rights as well, under by-law EU directive 97345-123, cockroaches can only be squashed one by one, if squashed simultaneously in numbers more than one, this would violate EU directive 342775-1y, which stipulates it is an offence to squash more than one cockroach at the same time,” Chief of EU Cockroach Kontrollen, Yves Pierre Salope, told EU News on Tuesday.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    21 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.