Hillary Clinton to Star in Italian Horror Movie

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Capitol Hill was visited by demons today when news came through from Italy that veteran horror director Dario Argento has cast the 67th United States Secretary of State in his new film Demons VI.

“Hillary Clinton scares the living shit out of me when I look at her. Just looking at her demonic manifestation and her reptile eyes makes my skin crawl. I had to cast her for the movie and luckily she accepted, because frankly she’s bored with this Obama doofus who is a loser on a grand scale. She can’t stand being second fiddle to him,” director, Dario Argento told Horror Week, whilst shooting the movie’s intro scenes in Milan.

The plot of the movie is a well kept secret, but Mr Argento has revealed that his leading lady, Mrs Clinton, will play a ‘shapeshifter’ who infiltrates a political party and becomes a high ranking politician.

“I know this storyline has been flogged to death already, but let me tell you my horror fans, this time it will be different and you shall be scared out of your fucking skin. Oh mio Dio! I am a seasoned horror fan myself but after watching Hillary in real life, I was so scared that a little of my hair went white instantly. She’s the real deal,” Mr Argento revealed.

The director is said to be fascinated by the many faces of Hillary Clinton.

Filming of Demons VI is scheduled to finish by July of next year and Hillary Clinton will make regular flights to Italy to film her scenes as well as continue her job as Secretary of State to the United States. The White House has given full clearance for the film as has the Pentagon.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    19 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.