"How’d Ya Like Your Brains? Scrambled or Over Easy?"

KENTUCKY - USA - Forget about shotgun weddings, shotgun breakfasts are all the rage now.

Enos Johnsons, 45, recently started the new Shotgun Breakfast craze, which is now raging through the state of Kentucky. His wife served him up some cold eggs for breakfast so he thought he’d serve up some of her cold brains on the sideboard with his 12-bore.

Sheriff Elrod Cooter for Kentucky State Police said: “It’s a new craze going around called a Shotgun Breakfast. Last week we had one guy who’s wife burnt his toast in the morning. Well, he shot up the whole trailer park and killed 23. Just yesterday down in Cheyenne Creek, one man’s wife blew off her husband’s nutsack because he forget to buy some more booze that morning. Folks, looks like we gots us an epidemic here!”

Professor Jed Pitchfork of the University of Kentucky has several theories on the series of Shotgun Breakfast rampages which are sweeping the county: “Bad moonshine. I say we gots us some bad moonshine in the state and it’s affecting people. I’m currently conducting some more scientific experiments on the latest batch of moonshine doing the rounds, and I gots to say it some goo-o-o-d shieeeeet!”

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: rednecks

Recent Posts

Local Elections: Murder at the Polls For Rishi Sunak

BLACKPOOL - England - PM Rishi Sunak has suffered a massive poll disaster at the…

2 hours ago

Russia, China and Iran Behind Pro-Palestine Pro-Hamas Protests

LOS ANGELES - USA - The West's enemies, Russia, China and Iran are also behind…

24 hours ago

The Paradox of Socialists Championing Terrorist Group Hamas

LONDON - England - There is an ultimate paradox to the socialists and assorted Marxist…

1 day ago

“Biological Sex is a Fact” – NHS SHOCKER!

LONDON - England - The NHS has released shock news that biological sex is a…

2 days ago

Who Gave the EU the Right to Dictate its Totalitarian Rules on the Internet?

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The EU has ruined the internet with its myriad of totalitarian…

3 days ago

Beyond Satire: Home Office Can’t Find Rwanda Migrants

DOVER - England - According to reports, the Home Office can't find thousands of Rwanda…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.