Tony Blair Could Launch Book Signing in 45 Minutes

“Mr Blair is ready to launch a book signing anywhere in the UK in 45 minutes,” a senior aide working for the former prime minister told the Sun.

Immediately after the 45-minute claims were uttered in a secret dossier published three months ago and leaked only two days ago, there was panic in the whole of the UK and Ireland.

In Dublin, shoes and eggs were pelted at Tony Blair after he enacted the 45-minute book signing threat and conducted an impromptu book signing attack in the middle of the Town Centre.

“As soon as people heard the 45-minute book signing threat there was literally panic in the streets. The populace were scrabbling for rotten tomatoes, eggs, bricks and old shoes to throw at the former prime minister,” Liam O’Leary, an unpublished author from Dublin told the Irish Times.

The whole of the UK is now under siege with Tony Blair threatening to strike at any book store near where you live in less than 45-minutes.