Cost Cutting Ryanair Planes to be Flown On Autopilot

DUBLIN - Ireland - The boss of the budget airline Ryanair has called for costly human pilots to be removed from the flight deck to save money and suggested that air passengers should parachute from planes in an emergency.

 

Michael O’Leary claimed that pilots were too costly and would be replaced throughout the whole Ryanair fleet with a computer autopilot system running on Windows 98.

In an interview with Bloomberg BusinessWeek magazine, Mr O’Leary, who has previously suggested that planes could fly with “standing-only” areas for passengers, said: “Why does every plane have human pilots?

“Really, you only need the autopilot. Let’s take out the expensive f*cking human pilot. Let the bastard computer fly it.”

When asked what would happen if the autopilot came up with a blue screen Windows error while flying a plane, he said: “If the f*cking autopilot crashes, a bell rings, then it’s time for the passengers to bail out. They will have to pay a non-refundable fee for their f*cking parachutes though before they disembark from the plane at 30,000 feet.”

 

 

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: ryanair

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    20 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.