BNP Members Avoiding Sunbeds

LONDON - England - British National Party members avoid tanning products or anything to do with the sun, an insider has revealed.

“We were told to put on layers of sunscreen at all times, even in winter. If anyone got a tan, like if they went on their hols or something and actually went out in the sun they would be immediately quarantined by the senior party members and stuck in a dark room sometimes for weeks on end,” the insider revealed.

Much like veal, BNP members are urged to live in virtual darkness to preserve their pale complexions.

“If you get a tan of any kind you are immediately called a p*ki or n*gger and told to undergo special re-whitening treatments. I once exposed my left wrist to the sunshine for more than two hours without special sun cream and it got dark. After that I had to hide my arm for fear of being caught,” the man revealed.

After enduring over three years in the BNP, the man finally got the courage to leave and since that time regularly goes to sunny climates for holidays without any fear of reprisal.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    5 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    2 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    4 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    5 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.