Iran Stuns the West by Announcing First McDonald’s Restaurant

TEHRAN - Iran - After threatening Western countries with a "big surprise to end all surprises" the Islamic Revolutionary Government has announced the opening of the first ever McDonald's restaurant in the country.

“We will stun the West with an almighty surprise that will make them tremble,” President Ahmedinnajacket had boasted only a few months ago.

“The consensus was that the Iranians would unleash something terrible towards Israel or even the US, but we have to say that we all got it wrong. I’ve now heard that they’re eating Big Macs and gorging themselves on Happy Meals,” a Washington insider disclosed.

The secret negotiations were being laid for months by the Iranian regime and during the final unveiling of the fast food restaurant there were reports through Twitter that many people were crushed to death in the ensuing rush to buy a Big Mac, or as it is called in Iran, a “Satan’s Burger”.

Experts in Middle East affairs are as baffled as anyone on how the Iranian regime finally succumbed to the ‘Great Satan’s’ culinary habits.

“We’re still kind of shocked at how they embraced the food from a country that is reviled so much by the totalitarian Islamic republic. Next they’ll be going around and opening strip joints and casinos. Crazy shit I tell you,” Dr. Al Franken, analyst at the University of Brooklyn told CBS news.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.