Iran Stuns the West by Announcing First McDonald’s Restaurant

“We will stun the West with an almighty surprise that will make them tremble,” President Ahmedinnajacket had boasted only a few months ago.

“The consensus was that the Iranians would unleash something terrible towards Israel or even the US, but we have to say that we all got it wrong. I’ve now heard that they’re eating Big Macs and gorging themselves on Happy Meals,” a Washington insider disclosed.

The secret negotiations were being laid for months by the Iranian regime and during the final unveiling of the fast food restaurant there were reports through Twitter that many people were crushed to death in the ensuing rush to buy a Big Mac, or as it is called in Iran, a “Satan’s Burger”.

Experts in Middle East affairs are as baffled as anyone on how the Iranian regime finally succumbed to the ‘Great Satan’s’ culinary habits.

“We’re still kind of shocked at how they embraced the food from a country that is reviled so much by the totalitarian Islamic republic. Next they’ll be going around and opening strip joints and casinos. Crazy shit I tell you,” Dr. Al Franken, analyst at the University of Brooklyn told CBS news.