Gordon Brown Eats Own Hand

LONDON - England - British prime minister, Gordon Brown ate his own hand live on television today after the European poll results came through.

Gordon Brown, who was being interviewed on the BBC at the time started to eat his own hand as the reporter, Bungla Neelesh Chakrabarti looked on in horror.

“The PM started to eat his own hand as I showed him the final results for the election. His face went red and he just bit down taking big chunks of flesh, bone and gristle and swallowing the lot. He didn’t even make a sound during the act and everyone in the studio started to retch at the horrible sight. The crunching sound was the worst bit. Filming was stopped immediately by my producer Sanjit Markhani,” Mr Chakrabarti reported.

The film of the awful act will not be shown out of respect for Mr Brown who was rushed immediately to Hammersmith hospital at 9.30 am.

Surgeons were said to be battling to piece together the hand but it is likely that Mr Brown will be fitted with a prosthetic hand, possibly a hook.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Bo Selecta! Russell Brand Gets 10 Years Possibly at Monster Mansion

    LONDON - England - Russell Brand has been sentenced by the Crown Court to 10…

    1 day ago

    Nvidia’s Huang Put His Wang in a Huang

    SILICON VALLEY - USA - Nvidia shares have fallen sharply after the CEO Jensen Huang…

    1 day ago

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    5 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    5 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    7 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.