Obama Affecting Weather Claim White House Aides

Yesterday in the White House’s rose garden, Obama held a conference on climate change in which he outlined how the government was going to monetarily charge people for using the earth’s weather. During his masterfully orated speech, he looked up at the heavens and pointed at some clouds, and to the astonishment of the crowd and assembled dignitaries, the clouds parted as soon as Obama pointed at them bringing forth a ray of light.

“Obama has got powers which we have never witnessed in a president or anyone for that matter. Wherever he goes there seems to be a ray of light that comes through even the thickest of clouds. He also has special qualities with animals. Last week he was at an animal sanctuary in Washington visiting with his children and as soon as he walked within a few feet of the animals they started making noises as if they were excited, jumping up and down and cooing,” a baffled senior aide to the White House’s staff told CBS news.

Research scientists at one of America’s most respected scientific research labs, Los Alamos, have been contacted to investigate the Obama phenomenon and are said to be baffled at the claims of Obama’s supernatural powers.

There have also been witnesses to Obama’s miracle qualities with water, a White House function guest recalls: “We were at a function for the President of Lithuania two weeks ago when Obama touched a jug of water accidentally. To the guests surprise, the water was then transformed to prime Matryoshkina vodka. The guests were soon whooping it up, some even jumping up to dance on the tables and singing loudly.”

Pity the new president cannot make the USA’s $12 Trillion deficit disappear.

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