Ugly Spector Just Wanted to Get Laid

If you were as ugly and lonely as Phil Spector you might be frustrated too, say prominent psychiatrists and luminaries of the Music Industry.

“Phil never managed to get laid once in his life. It didn’t matter how much money he paid hookers or any of the women, he just could not get laid because the dude was an ugly motherf*cker. He actually looks like a lizard, one girl told me after he held her at gunpoint for three hours before she finally escaped through a fifth floor bathroom window,” Ron Silverman, a long time Spector hanger-on and drug supplier told the Daily Squib.

Many women escaped with their lives after being around Phil Spector, Lana Clarkson was not so lucky and she was the last straw for him.

“That night he must’ve finally flipped. These women could not stay in his presence for more than 15 minutes, so Phil would have to lay down another $1000 for them to stay. He would sometimes try drugging them so that they could look at his face or even touch him but that was too much for some and they would leave the money even if they were homeless. His adopted kids also could not stand Phil either. Hell I’ve even seen nuns cringe when they come with two feet of this dude,” Spector’s chauffeur confided during the court case.

Phil Spector was one of the most famous music producers of all time and was credited with inventing the “wall of sound” but unfortunately for him he will be languishing behind bars for the rest of his life in “walls of concrete”.

“He was testament to what happens when cousins breed. Phil wanted to be a big shot in the Music Biz, well he finally got his chance that’s for sure,” Ed Mahoney, a rep for Atlantic Records said after Spector was convicted of murder.

It is not yet known if Spector will be allowed to take his wigs into prison with him but there is some good news for the ailing ex-producer — he will finally be able to get laid, albeit by some huge black gangbanger looking for a pasty white b*tch to f*ck.