Entire Conservative Party Arrested

Labour ministers were today in a celebratory and jubilant mood as anti-terrorist Stasi officers were mobilised to arrest the entire Conservative party.

Stasi Minister, Jacqui Smith was on hand to gloat over her part in securing the momentous and historic arrest which will ensure Labour has no opposition in parliament.

“We have cleansed parliament once and for all from the horror of democracy. We can’t have people going around and telling the truth! We are now the parliament, our one party system will last for a thousand years, the opposition were useless anyway, we will not miss them comrades.”

The anti-terror operation was conducted over three days and managed to capture every Tory apart from one — the London mayor who had absconded on his bicycle last night.

The Metropolitan police were searching all ports and airports on Tuesday to try and find Boris Johnson and arrest him.

Metropolitan Stasi official Peter Knacker told the BBC: “We have secured all ports and airports. If anyone sees a burly old chap ‘wot wotting’ along with a big mound of white hair on his head and jumping red lights on his bicycle call your nearest Stasi official immediately.”

Meanwhile, ‘Red Ken’ Livingstone has re-taken his Mayoral seat and had this to say about the whole sorry incident: “Comrades, thank you for ousting these vile capitalist pigs and lovers of democracy. I am so glad to be back as London Mayor and I’m sure you are all glad to see me back. I shall start first by extending the congestion zone to the whole of London and the M25.”

The entire Conservative party is being held in a gulag somewhere in Northern England and will be tried with the vile crime of opposing the Labour government and attempting to make the public aware of information that would make Labour look like a bunch of bumbling incompetent morons.

There will be no trial set for the incarceration of the Tory party and they will languish in their freezing prison for the next 42 years as decreed by Stasi Minister and part-time brothel madam, Jacqui Smith.