UN Climate Talks to Create 13,000 Tonnes of Hot Air and Methane

WARSAW - Poland - Around 13,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide (CO2) and methane gas will be added to the Earth's greenhouse effect from the December 1-12 meeting of the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change, the UNFCCC said.

Under a pioneering scheme, the hot air that is dispersed from every delegate is collected in the dome and utilised as energy to run turbines, therefore putting to good use a load of completely useless bunch of bollocks

Staging a global forum on climate change is a dilemma, as it adds to the very problem it is trying to solve.

That estimate is based on a turnout of 8,000 people, but as of Sunday 10,657 people had registered for the talks.

Poland, which is hosting the meeting, “plans to offset the total emissions resulting from the conference once a final calculation has been made,” the UNFCCC said.

“Every member will have to pay $4.25 per cubic foot of gaseous exchange from their orifices. The amount of hot air spouted from delegates will be measured and logged. The key element is to monetize the environment and create an effect that resembles enviro-fascism. The populations of the world are now a major problem and we are now racing to find a solution to humans who are not worthy of reproducing with their junk genes. Through elements like chemicals in food and water we reduce the population slowly, however we need to speed up the process with possible outbreaks of bird flu or other epidemics,” a member of a leading think tank told Reuters.

Under offsets, anyone emitting carbon can invest in a scheme that mitigates the pollution by the same amount. If you speak a lot of hot air like the delegates will be doing and talk a load of “bullshit” that is totally “meaningless” then there is good reason to believe that this may cause further climate change.

“Typical projects involve introducing more poisons into the human food chain, water and air. We will also add more phthalates into plastics used for containing drinking fluids to further depopulate the masses through infertility. The only way to introduce a global scientific dictatorship is through the perceived introduction of a new threat for the masses. In this case, however, the masses are a major threat to the elite controllers and will have to be culled,” the expert added.

The Poznan talks are a stepping stone to a new global control system utilising the perceived threat of climate change, scheduled to be concluded in Copenhagen in December 2009.

Global warming is said to be caused by the sun’s rays coming towards the earth and warming the surface.

As a result, Earth’s surface is warm during daylight hours and cools off during the night. The earth has been heating and cooling for millions of years and will thus continue to do so for millions more.

Most greenhouse gases come from the burning of oil, coal and gas from Al Gore’s house located in America. Emissions from Mr Gore’s house have been measured by scientists to be so high that he will only be able to offset his carbon footprint by 2054.