Rottweiler Attacks Down for December

SCUNTHORPE - England - Statistics for the month of December suggest an easing off of Rottweiler attacks on the Chav populations in England and Wales.

The National Office of Statistics is studying data that suggests the frequent Rottweiler attacks on poor white low class unemployed people in England and Wales has decreased by a remarkable 0.8% for December 2007.

The fatalities and severe injuries sustained by attacking Rottweilers was a mere 345 for this month so far and the minor drop in maulings on Chavs is a cause for concern for other populations of the UK.

Thinning the herd

Rottweilers and Pitbulls are a breed of dog kept specifically by ‘Chavs’ and is nature’s way of keeping Chav population numbers at acceptable levels.

These guard dogs are not bred to be kept in a council flat or other restricted spaces, but need to be kept within large open spaces and to be trained adequately with plenty of exercise. It is no wonder that under the idiocy and ignorance of a Chav owner these dogs lose their minds.

Only Chavs are stupid enough to keep dangerous dogs like these in confined spaces and homes, with very little or no human contact. It is this profound stupidity that also ensures the Chav population is kept in check with daily maulings and fatalities.

Whether it is stabbings or shootings, poor diet and low quality lifestyle which ensures permanent early retirement for the Chav population of England and Wales, the added bonus of Rottweiler attacks also adds to the decrease in the Chav numbers.

Owning a Pitbull or Rottweiler is a badge of honour for Chavs, much like an ASBO or a conviction for GBH.

Breeding

The increase in the Chav populations in the British Isles over the past ten to fifteen years has ensured a steady increase in attacks on their numbers by the dangerous dogs.

“There should not be a crack down on Rottweilers or Pitbulls by the Government. Breeders of dangerous dogs should be encouraged to carry on supplying these dogs to the Chav population,” John Humphreys of the League for the Preservation of Killer Dogs said from his kennels in Hertfordshire.

The increase of attacks on Chavs also relieves the burden on NHS resources and the benefits system as well as reducing policing costs. The resultant lessening tax burden is an additional bonus to the increase in Rottweiler dogs within Chav populations.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share

Recent Posts

ANALYSIS: Was Prince Harry Making a Statement in Latest Address?

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry made a new appearance wearing military medals on his…

2 days ago

Triggered Woke People and Eco Zealots Encouraged to Choose Euthanasia

SCUNTHORPE - England - A Labour think tank details its proposals for the government to…

3 days ago

Rat Sadiq Khan Set to Win Again as Mayor of London

LONDON - England - The vile reign of rat Sadiq Khan as Mayor of London…

3 days ago

MI5 20 Years Too Late On Chinese Espionage at UK Universities?

OXFORD - England - The MI5 have finally got round to warning UK universities of…

3 days ago

Meghan Markle Sends Pint of Milk to 50 Celebrities

MONTECITO - USA - Meghan Markle has been busy milking and sending pints of the…

4 days ago

Illegal Migrant: “I want to go to Rwanda”

CALAIS - France - It seems that for many illegal migrants, being sent to Rwanda…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.