Obama: Je Suis Charlie Hebdo

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - The president of the United States has made a heart felt explanation for not joining world leaders in France on Sunday after the recent Charlie Hebdo massacres.

“Ah, ya know got up in the morning, or was it afternoon or something, can’t remember? Someone gives me a piece of paper telling me something about world leaders in Paris France. Hell, you know me, any chance to get some free air miles and taxpayer hotel suites, but this time I just couldn’t do it. Ah shucks, after you’ve had one hundred presidential suites they all just the same, nome sayin’? I just said, tell them to send the ambassador, I got more important things to do like, er, play some golf and shit, maybe next massacre in France, I might make an appearance, but if there’s even more after that, it’s gotta be the ambassador for you Hebdo guys,” the president of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama told CNN on Tuesday.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.