American Economy Soars at Expense of Russia

Vladimir Putin has been left with a greasy fried egg on his face as Americans boast about their soaring economy.

With a Fitch credit rating only one level above junk status, the Russians can only look on as the USA laughs at their economic misfortune.

“The US economy is exceeding all limits and is set to soar even further. What about those Russkies? Not only did we confiscate some serious billions from them but oil prices will be kept low for years, which is good for America but not for Russia, how you like that you hard headed vodka swilling ball sacks?” Rudy Meisner, a U.S. board of trade delegate taunted on a Russia Today transmission, Friday.

There was no reply from any Russians to the American snide remark, just silence as they upgraded their nuclear arsenal.