Scots Demand Independence From Watching England Play Football

SAO PAOLO - Brazil - No doubt Scottish fans gain a great deal of pleasure from seeing England lose in the World Cup but there's always another nagging thought in the back of their heads.

Scottish football fans have demanded independence from the indignity of watching England play football on the World Cup stage when they could do a little better, the fans claim.

“I’s nae ‘at we dornt enjoy watchin’ th’ Englain scunners lose aw th’ time, but it’s th’ thooght ‘at if uir team hud qualified we coods hae dain a loat better than them glaikit bampots,” a Scottish fan said in the Uruguay crowd.

Scottish Nationalist leader, Alex Salmond has backed up the Scottish football fan concerns by vowing to increase funding for national teams if the country wins independence in September.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.