Scots Demand Independence From Watching England Play Football

SAO PAOLO - Brazil - No doubt Scottish fans gain a great deal of pleasure from seeing England lose in the World Cup but there's always another nagging thought in the back of their heads.

Scottish football fans have demanded independence from the indignity of watching England play football on the World Cup stage when they could do a little better, the fans claim.

“I’s nae ‘at we dornt enjoy watchin’ th’ Englain scunners lose aw th’ time, but it’s th’ thooght ‘at if uir team hud qualified we coods hae dain a loat better than them glaikit bampots,” a Scottish fan said in the Uruguay crowd.

Scottish Nationalist leader, Alex Salmond has backed up the Scottish football fan concerns by vowing to increase funding for national teams if the country wins independence in September.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    21 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.