Aussie Athletes Shipped to Australia After Nicking Gold Medals From Brits

LONDON - England - The Brits have been winning gold medals by the dozen and some Aussies have been caught stealing.

With only two gold medals by the Australian Olympic team, the Aussies have now resorted to stealing the medals from British athletes.

“Stop there thief!”

Britain now has eighteen Olympic gold medals as opposed to only two Australian gold medals.

Police constable, Gerald Whittington of the Metropolitan police, has described an incident where some of the Australian athletes, who did not win any Olympic medals, were caught stealing gold medals at Olympic venues.

“We caught the Aussies red handed, they went into the changing rooms and tried to pilfer our athletes’ gold medals. Just because they can’t win any themselves. Well, it’s off to a prison colony for you scallywags.”

The Australian athletes were shipped to Port Jackson from Portsmouth yesterday and the ship carrying over two hundred criminals will get to Australia some time next year.

“We hope to start a new colony over there, but first we will have to build some prisons to hold the new colonists,” Admiral Stanley Pitkin, told the BBC.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    1 day ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    7 days ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.