Ten Horse Mutations From The Future

AINTREE - England - It’s that time of the year again. The race of all races, the Grand National!

 

To make sure you have every chance of profiting this year, Paddy Power have travelled to the future and returned with genetically modified winners ready for the Grand National Live Streaming!

Bendy Dave
Splicing in a little Beckham DNA gives this mutant the stamina and agility it needs to complete the race.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clarence
Fast and deadly, with a taste for Jockey blood, this terrifying mutant can’t stop moving and can be a beast to control.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

King T
Like something from Jurassic park this blast from the past has raw aggression and car-crushing power which promises to make the race more exciting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crustaceous Dan
Giant claws slice Jockeys clean in half. This mutant’s claws have the crushing power of a black hole, but the sideways running is distracting and cumbersome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ivory Sprinter
Using its’ powerful trunk, the ele-horse removes Jockeys from their steeds causing them to lose control and head into the stands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gumball
Do motorbikes have DNA? It doesn’t matter as you won’t have time to ask with this speed-obsessed, petrol headed mutant power-house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Savanna Affair
This lion based mutation might not have the best stamina, but it’s razor sharp claws and hunting instinct make it the ideal mutant to take out the competition one by one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sturdy Blur
Slow and steady wins the race! If this armoured behemoth can survive until the end it might just win.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One Eyed Jack
Scientists combined the DNA of two of the greatest living race horses, but ended up with this monstrosity…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whippin McWhiskers
OMG JUST SOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sponsored

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: uk

    Recent Posts

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    23 hours ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    3 days ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    1 week ago

    Chinese Scientists Rejuvenating the Seriously Ill Leader Xi Jinping

    BEIJING - China - Chinese scientists are successfully rejuvenating the seriously ill CCP leader Xi…

    2 weeks ago

    Looking Forward to the Nightmare Labour Budget

    MANCHESTER - England - Are you looking forward to the nightmare Labour budget?

    2 weeks ago

    Experts: True Change Can Only Come From the Population – Not the Government

    FRANCE - To effect any form of true change in any given Western nation, the…

    3 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.