Ten Horse Mutations From The Future

AINTREE - England - It’s that time of the year again. The race of all races, the Grand National!

 

To make sure you have every chance of profiting this year, Paddy Power have travelled to the future and returned with genetically modified winners ready for the Grand National Live Streaming!

Bendy Dave
Splicing in a little Beckham DNA gives this mutant the stamina and agility it needs to complete the race.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clarence
Fast and deadly, with a taste for Jockey blood, this terrifying mutant can’t stop moving and can be a beast to control.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

King T
Like something from Jurassic park this blast from the past has raw aggression and car-crushing power which promises to make the race more exciting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crustaceous Dan
Giant claws slice Jockeys clean in half. This mutant’s claws have the crushing power of a black hole, but the sideways running is distracting and cumbersome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ivory Sprinter
Using its’ powerful trunk, the ele-horse removes Jockeys from their steeds causing them to lose control and head into the stands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gumball
Do motorbikes have DNA? It doesn’t matter as you won’t have time to ask with this speed-obsessed, petrol headed mutant power-house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Savanna Affair
This lion based mutation might not have the best stamina, but it’s razor sharp claws and hunting instinct make it the ideal mutant to take out the competition one by one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sturdy Blur
Slow and steady wins the race! If this armoured behemoth can survive until the end it might just win.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One Eyed Jack
Scientists combined the DNA of two of the greatest living race horses, but ended up with this monstrosity…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whippin McWhiskers
OMG JUST SOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sponsored

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: uk

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    1 day ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    2 days ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    5 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.