Sci/Tech

Scientists to Engineer Birth of Trans Babies

SHANGHAI - China - Scientists at a new research institute are to engineer the birth of trans babies.

With so many people who think they can change universal biology fact with thought, the scientists in a Chinese laboratory are engineering transexual babies for trendy parents who are willing to pay. The birth of trans babies will be the norm in a decade and will fuel a multi-billion industry.

Professor Xiu Idaiyut from Shanghai University of Medicine is heading the medical team of researchers and scientists to engineer the first transgender babies.

“Men have an X and Y chromosome and women have two X chromosomes, but what we are engineering is a baby who is either male or female but is born with the characteristics of the opposite sex. For example, a baby born as a female with two X chromosomes and all the female genitalia and bone structure will be born with a huge prosthetic penis and a large handlebar moustache which we will put on the baby inside the womb. The foetus will be pumped full of testosterone so when it is born it will have a voice that Barry White would shudder at. When the girl is born, to please the trendy parents, we will register the baby as a boy.

“Consequently, if the parents want their baby to be female, the male baby will be pumped with large volumes of oestrogen in the womb so it grows breasts that would make Dolly Parton blush. As soon as the male baby pops out of the mother, we put a blonde wig on the male baby and call it a girl. We immediately cover up the penis with a pink wrap and give it to the mentally ill parents.”

Waiting list for birth of trans babies

The cost of the procedure is $500,000 per baby, and already there is a waiting list of five years for the trans baby surgery. Interest for the procedure is mainly from the USA.

“Our clients are mostly from California, New York, and funnily enough Portland, Oregon. They are willing to pay top dollar for a freshly served trans baby,” the program’s spokesman revealed.

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