Britain's First Face Transplant Hailed a Success

LONDON - England - Surgeons have completed Britain's first ever face transplant, the Daily Squib exclusively reports.

“This has been an absolutely astounding piece of work. We successfully completed the complicated surgery after many months, even years of preparation,” chief surgeon, Dr Tory Benn, revealed from the Royal Gloucestershire Hospital in Piccadilly.

Eleven surgeons performed the 28-hour operation, which leaves the person able to perform similar tasks to the owner of the previous face.

Dr Benn said the operation was the most complex transplant completed to date. Surgeons had to incorporate politics, charisma, lies and bullshit from a man who had recently had an unfortunate accident in government

“It’s incredible, they both function in the exact same way but with different faces,” a bemused member of the public said..

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: britain

    Recent Posts

    50+ Investable Opportunities Found in a New Analysis Providing Economic Gains

    GENEVA - Switzerland - The World Economic Forum has identified over 50 investable opportunities offering…

    2 days ago

    Strait of Hormuz: Shame on Many Coward NATO Members

    LONDON - England - Multiple members of NATO have displayed their profound cowardice and shame…

    3 days ago

    Shia Islamic Iran Willing to Take Down Globe For the Twelfth Imam

    TEHRAN - Iran - The Shia Islamic Iranian Republic is awaiting the Twelfth Imam to…

    5 days ago

    Iranian Regime Now Releasing AI-Generated Disinformation of Captured US Soldiers

    LONDON - England - The U.S. Intelligence community needs to stamp down on the mass…

    1 week ago

    The Have-Nots Don’t Have Anything to Lose – But You Do!

    LOS ANGELES - USA - There are millions and millions of have-nots who don't have…

    1 week ago

    TRUMP: Kill One Ayatollah – Get Another One Free

    TEHRAN - Iran - President Trump sure got the deal of the century when he…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.