Apple Computers Creates Apple

CUPERTINO - USA - Apple Computers Inc. has created an Apple product that has astounded techies across the world -- an apple.

Standing in for Apple’s pioneer and spiritual leader, Steve Jobs, was Joseph McCormack who is now in charge of operations at the Cupertino Apple headquarters.

“It’s edible”

“Our new Apple product is an exact replica of an apple. We have designed the future of electronic devices with an organic computer/phone/i-pod/printer and even lunch. This device will revolutionise lunchboxes everywhere,” McCormack told the audience at the new product launch.

Holding up a red apple which he took out of his pocket he sniffed it then pressed the top to reveal a miniature keyboard. He then did something that made everyone’s jaws drop. He took a bite out of it.

Apple over the years has never ceased to astound and innovate, but edible electronic devices really takes the biscuit.

“Say you’re in a plane crash or stranded on a boat somewhere. Well, with our new product, you can shoot off an email or call to a rescue team and while you’re waiting for them to come, you can eat your Apple device. It’s perfectly safe and our team of Apple genius’ have engineered an Apple computer that actually tastes and smells like a real apple,” McCormack boasted proudly.

A member of the assembled press then asked if they could make bananas and guavas.

“No we’re Apple. We only deal in apples.”

The new Apple devices are already under production and should appear in a few months. The company has to first get the Apple orchard up to speed with the new season for fruiting not yet here, there may be a while to wait. Once the new Apple devices are ripe they are then handpicked by a team of specialist fruit-pickers from Mexico.

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