Apple Computers Creates Apple

CUPERTINO - USA - Apple Computers Inc. has created an Apple product that has astounded techies across the world -- an apple.

Standing in for Apple’s pioneer and spiritual leader, Steve Jobs, was Joseph McCormack who is now in charge of operations at the Cupertino Apple headquarters.

“It’s edible”

“Our new Apple product is an exact replica of an apple. We have designed the future of electronic devices with an organic computer/phone/i-pod/printer and even lunch. This device will revolutionise lunchboxes everywhere,” McCormack told the audience at the new product launch.

Holding up a red apple which he took out of his pocket he sniffed it then pressed the top to reveal a miniature keyboard. He then did something that made everyone’s jaws drop. He took a bite out of it.

Apple over the years has never ceased to astound and innovate, but edible electronic devices really takes the biscuit.

“Say you’re in a plane crash or stranded on a boat somewhere. Well, with our new product, you can shoot off an email or call to a rescue team and while you’re waiting for them to come, you can eat your Apple device. It’s perfectly safe and our team of Apple genius’ have engineered an Apple computer that actually tastes and smells like a real apple,” McCormack boasted proudly.

A member of the assembled press then asked if they could make bananas and guavas.

“No we’re Apple. We only deal in apples.”

The new Apple devices are already under production and should appear in a few months. The company has to first get the Apple orchard up to speed with the new season for fruiting not yet here, there may be a while to wait. Once the new Apple devices are ripe they are then handpicked by a team of specialist fruit-pickers from Mexico.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU. Biden Censorship | Starmer Censorship | Google Censorship
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: techus

Recent Posts

Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

14 hours ago

Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

3 days ago

Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

3 days ago

Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

4 days ago

The Hypocrisy of Leftists Regarding Deportations

MINNEAPOLIS - USA - It's okay to have 3.1 million ICE deportations under Obama, but…

4 days ago

Comrades, Stasi Units On Alert After Traitor Tries to Invoke Democracy

MANCHESTER - England - The People's Republic of Soviet Britain is currently under a state…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.