Have You Been Bitten by an Ebola Mosquito?

FLORIDA - USA - Swarms of Ebola laden mosquitoes could be on the loose in your neighbourhood, if you live in warm climes, so better get the mosquito net out then.

 

Imagine being bitten by an Ebola mosquito whilst you’re in deep sleep, you may not even hear that annoying whining sound or even feel it. Wake up in the morning have your brekkie and out the door to work, next day you’ve got fucking Ebola.

“It’s the trials of our times innit, you can get Ebola from mosquitoes because the virus is transmitted through blood and various other bodily fluids. At least vampires aren’t real, imagine having a vampire sucking your blood and transmitting Ebola into your bloodstream from a previous victim, that shit mingles. Leeches as well, no I’m not talking about the wife, talking about those little black things that stick on you and suck your blood, they’re nasty because they release an anaesthetic so you don’t even know they’re there. If you live in a country up in the northern hemisphere you should be relatively okay, but I do feel for those poor sods in hot countries,” a man in some pub said whilst drunk out of his head.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: ebola

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    20 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.