Harry Off on Holiday to Colombia and Nigeria After Losing Security Court Case

After losing the much touted security court case where Prince Harry has been left with a bruising £1.5 million lawyers’ bill, he has once again blubbed to the press about his security woes.

“I’m off for an extended holiday in Colombia and Nigeria, where the security is really good. Meghan and I visit there often on our official “royal” visits. Did you know that the murder rate in Colombia is one of the highest in the world, along with the kidnappings, the drug cartels and theft?

“From there I’m going back to Nigeria, one of the most dangerous countries in the world. Meghan loves that place too. They have many terrorist factions, and the murder rate is so sky-high no one even knows the true figures.

“So you see, I’m really bothered about security and I love visiting these dangerous places to prove that fact.

“I won’t be visiting England any more though because I lost my security court case demanding millions of taxpayer funded security. I am so fearful of my life in England, the other day in the hotel someone knocked on my door in my luxury suite and I jumped up in utter fright. I was sweating with fear. I looked through the peephole, and thankfully it was room service. They were delivering my fillet mignon, foie gras, champagne, and a very large knickerbocker glory. Ooh, salivating at the thought. But it’s dangerous in England, and I am sad the courts cannot see that.

“My father won’t speak to me any more. It’s because everything he says to me in private somehow appears in the press the next day. I wonder why he won’t say a word any more? You know my father, he’s the King of England or something.”