LOS ANGELES FIRE: Clinic Offers Emergency Botox and Breast Enlargement

Amongst the smouldering ashes of multi-million dollar mansions, the fire has ravaged some of the most exclusive areas of Los Angeles. There are true heroes here, though, people who are risking their lives to help the victims of this terrible fire. People like Moshe Liebowitz, a renowned plastic surgeon, whose clinic is offering the people of Pacific Palisades, Malibu and Altadena free botox fillers, breast enlargements and ass enlargements in their time of need. Quote code: FILLITUP-NOW

“This is a fucking tragedy. Look at my deflated bottom lip?” Lydia Mancuso, 43, who lost four of her mansions, told an ABC NEWS crew.

Jim Tremende, 56, was also up in arms as his puffed out face looked even more puffed out than usual. “I need more botox asap. Like, yesterday! Stat! Thanks to heroes like Dr. Liebowitz who is coming to my 5-star hotel suite in Beverly Hills which I booked after my goddamn Palisades mansion burned down, I will have an even bigger, fucking better bloated motherfuckin’ botox face.”

In Malibu, one resident’s breast implants exploded from the heat.

“I was enjoying a lil champagne and caviar looking out to the sea from my wonderful luxury mansion thinking about those adorable smelt fishies swimming around in rivers, what a beautiful thought. Anyway, suddenly I felt a little heat and my left fuckin’ tit exploded. The rock hard nipple cracked the fuckin’ glass of the window. Thank god for people like Dr. Liebowitz, I phoned him as the whole house burned down, and he booked an appointment for me immediately.”

Our thoughts are with the whole community in these trying times.