Why Are Harry and Meghan Trying to Learn Portuguese?

MONTECITO - USA - Harry and Meghan have hired a private tutor to teach them both Portuguese.

Prince Harry described his penchant for using drugs like cocaine, amphetamines, marijuana, hallucinogenic mushrooms, and MDMA in his book "Spare".

Only a few months ago, Prince Harry could not even point out where the country of Portugal was on a world map, let alone try to learn the language, but situations change sometimes. Harry and Meghan have both hired a Portuguese language tutor to come to their 18 bathroom Mcmansion in Montecito twice a week to try to teach them how to speak Portuguese.

According to the tutor Raúl Ortega, teaching Harry, especially, has not been an easy task.

“I do not wish to badmouth my employers because they pay very well, but let us just say, I would have more luck teaching Portuguese to a monkey than Prince Harry. He seems to have a very, very, low IQ, and no grasp of linguistics in any shape or form.”

But, what about Meghan, surely she is a better pupil?

“Not really. Every three seconds, she is checking the news on the internet about herself on her cell phone. She is also calling PR people constantly and informing paparazzi photographers about where she will be the next day, or where she will be shopping. It is very tiresome in the least.”

Prince Harry may be thrown out of the USA soon because he lied about his penchant for heavy drug use on his entrance visa into the country. This is why the couple may have to flee to Portugal soon.