Prince Harry Finds American Peasants “…a disgusting lot!”

MONTECITO - USA - Since moving to America, Prince Harry has commented on his disgust for American peasants.

There is a distinct difference to the peasantry of the UK and that of the USA, at least in the UK the peasants know their place, however the exiled Prince Harry is finding that things are slightly different in the USA and it’s his and Meghan’s mission to change things. Prince Harry is thus on a mission to whip the American peasants into shape and compliance.

According to Montecito aides and PR agents, Prince Harry finds Americans to be “…a disgusting lot of fat, junk food swilling, loud mouthed, opinionated morons who wrongly think they own the entire globe”. What’s more, Americans do not bow in the prince’s presence, which has been a bone of contention since arriving in North America. This imbecilic outrage irks the prince to no end.

It is also the wish of Harry to disarm the Americans of their right to bear arms and to dismantle the US Constitution, which the prince thinks is “completely useless”. Loose cannon Harry got into trouble a few years back when he called the First Amendment “bonkers”.

Despite being a military man who was once a gunner on a helicopter, the prince wants to see every American put their guns down because it would make the country a “safer place”. This narrative of disarming decent hard-working Americans, naturally has not gone down well with many Americans accusing the prince of being a “pompous limey asshole”.

“Who the fuck does this limey prince guy who came from Brit land to the USA think he fucking is calling us American peasants? We don’t bow our heads to his bullshit, and we don’t give up arms for anyone. Go back to the UK, where they hate you even more than we do,” one angry American was quoted as saying.

You heard it here, folks, Prince Harry doesn’t think much of you and wants to demolish your right to bear arms and your constitution. What do you think of that?