California Laws Allowing Shoplifting Rampage Free-for-all

“Thanks to the California laws we can now take anything we want from stores and no one gets arrested, and we never receive any repercussions” Jade Rumbone, 26, a professional shoplifter from Sacramento revealed to CNN. Shoplifting is now endemic in California, where gangs of ‘young people’ inundate and ransack stores on a regular basis.

“If I need anything, I just call my crew up and we get to work. We can make easy $4000 per day each in goods which we either re-sell or use. Cops just watch us, because it is the new California law, and no one has ever been arrested. Man, it is beautiful. Easiest money I ever made,” Rumbone added, and who can blame him?

It seems the lax California laws are created by socialists who do not value law and order or support businesses.

Entering an open business with the intent to steal less than $950 worth of property is shoplifting under California state law (Penal Code 495.5). Shoplifting is usually treated as a minor misdemeanour  — if you are ever caught, which no one ever is. Law enforcement probably won’t bother to investigate, and if they do, prosecutors will let it go.

“Each store, we just keep to the $950 threshold each. If we have a crew of 50, and we visit three or four stores per day, it is all pure profit. This is a legitimate business, and we invite anyone who is having financial hardship due to the cost of living to come to California. It’s nearly impossible to get arrested, we are in and out in minutes,” Rumbone revealed.

In San Francisco, shoplifting is now so prolific that it is not called shoplifting anymore.

“We call it ‘free grabs’ like ‘Bud, I’m gonna do some free grabs, I need new jeans and the latest iPhone, wanna tag along wit me?’ Anything you want is there to be taken, and we can mass rampage any store in seconds,” a shoplifter from San Francisco revealed.

How it is done 

• Reconnaissance: First the target store is scoped and mapped out. Top items are located and other top ticket items depending on each store layout.
• Organisation: Group is assembled via TikTok, WhatsApp or other social media. Times and dates are arranged.
• Deployment: Shoplifting rampage is implemented and at some stores timed. Some more professional groups can be in and out of a store in less than three minutes, cleaning out thousands of dollars worth of goods.
• Distribution: Stolen items are either sold online or distributed throughout the community, making some individuals and groups huge profits.

“This is the best business to be in right now. Acquisition, we call it. It’s free and easy. It is a win-win situation and is literally changing the lives of people. Thank you, California laws, you are the best state in the USA. I love liberals,” another shoplifter said from his living room full of stolen goods.

Californian Senator, Julia Gibbersmei, defended Californian laws on shoplifting on Wednesday.

“This is good for the economy. You can now walk into any store and take what you want without fear of arrest or prosecution. We are invigorating the economy because these people who take the items for free then go on to sell the stolen goods, and the money they make is spent in the economy.”