Entertainment

Doctors Fears For Madonna in World Tour Fiasco

LOS ANGELES - USA - Doctors and clinicians have warned Madonna not to conduct another world tour for fear of her health.

Doctors have warned that due to the immense amount of Botox and plastic surgery on Madonna’s face, she may melt under the powerful lights during her concerts.

“Most of Madonna’s face could effectively melt and fall on the stage floor. The heat generated from concert lights can be very high, and her plastic surgery Botox face stretching staples could snap off. We urge her staff to conduct a safety consultation with each venue, so her face does not fall off during the concerts,” Dr Hamish McManus told the BBC.

Another physician was concerned with Madonna’s arms, which have very prominent veins showing.

“Her condition could be an amalgamation of many variables, for example steroid use, drugs, vitamin injections, along with weight lifting. We know that Madonna is a vitamin injector and has four or five vitamin injections per day. Along with her face melting and dripping onto the floor, her breast implants could explode, and the veins in her arms could burst spraying blood all over the place, especially if from the pressure one of the main arteries explodes,” Professor Ernest Finklestein, from Scunthorpe University Hospital revealed.

The doctors advise that Madonna and her management team ask for venues to turn down the lighting systems to a minimum to safeguard her health.

“The concerts should be conducted in complete darkness, or a very little amount of light. Her music is so awful, maybe they should also turn off all the amplifiers as well,” another doctor commented.

One fan wrote on Instagram: “I don’t care about what the stoopid docs say! Hell, what a souvenir if her face fell off into the crowd! I booked my ticket already!”

Madonna, who has one of the most used vaginas in the business, is said to have signed up to have it donated to science after her death.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    1 day ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    7 days ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    7 days ago

    This website uses cookies.