Alex Jones: The Billion Dollar Man

Congratulations must be conveyed to shock jock conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, who has acquired the rare accolade of being sued for one billion dollars.

“This is quite an achievement, especially as it will be nigh on impossible to ever pay back that kind of money. One billion dollars is a lot of fuckin’ dollars, man. You can’t even fit that shit into a room,” one flabbergasted American revealed.

This goes to show that messing with grieving families after their kids have been shot and killed in a school is not a fruitful endeavour. When it comes to sensitive incidents involving children especially, it is not clever to do what Alex Jones did. Clearly, one must have some sense of responsibility, and Jones set himself up for that one.

Whether the Sandy Hook folks will ever get their money is another matter. No doubt some creative accountancy from the Jones team will ensure that.