Entertainment

TOWIE ‘Star’ Booted Off Flight

ESSEX - England - About nine TOWIE actors have been ejected from a commercial flight, it has been reported.

Talentless loser James ‘Shiggs’ Bonehead was removed from a flight home to England for “a lot of reasons”, as the drama involving TOWIE actors and aeroplanes continues.

It was reported yesterday that ITV bosses are calling an emergency meeting about nine ‘stars’ of the Essex-based reality TV show, after they were booted off a flight to London as well.

After attempting to fly back from the Dominican Republic, it was reported that TOWIE slag Pianess Gape Smith and other members of the BUFTI winning show were removed from a flight to the UK at 35,000ft.

The Sun reported that the moronic reality TV scum were ejected one by one from the aeroplanes by members of the public, and airline staff.

James ‘Shiggs’ Bonehead was one of the nine TOWIE stars booted off the flight cruising at an altitude of approximately 35,000 feet.

After Bonehead was thrown without a parachute out of the jet, passengers were heard cheering and clapping their hands wildly, along with airline staff.

“The captain himself came over to the passenger area and was seen whooping with joy,” one passenger on the flight recalled.

Due to the altitude, it would have been dangerous to open the emergency doors to flush out the pieces of shit reality TV scum, but instead they were pushed into the toilets head first and flushed out over the Alps.

“Some of the TOWIE slags were too fat to flush at first, so we had to break one of the toilets to flush the ugly bints through,” another passenger revealed.

A spokesman for the Civil Authority confirmed: “At 3.55am yesterday (TUE) the captain of the plane, passengers, and airline staff requested permission to dump a number of reality TV scum over the Alps on approach to the UK. We naturally agreed immediately and gave our blessing.”

The bodies of the TOWIE turds have not been recovered, and frankly, no one apart from severely brain-dead people would ever care about them being splatted on a mountain like strawberry jam.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    2 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.