LONDON - England - Once more unto the breach, we compile a brief group of news headlines that could be deemed as Beyond Satire.
Greetings from the nether regions of the satirical spectrum of insanity, where the borders between regular news dissolves and is enveloped by things beyond the fucking Thunderdome. This time, Tina and Mad Max are nowhere to be seen. All we have are some rather whacky cringe worthy stories that may or may not tickle your funny bones.
Tourist is savaged by a 12ft crocodile after mistaking the predator for a plastic model and climbing into its pool for selfies in amusement park in the Philippines
Nehemias Chipada spotted what he thought was just a life-like model of one of the predators while visiting Amaya View amusement park on his birthday in Cagayan de Oro City.
The 68-year-old then posed for pictures, holding his phone in one hand with his other hand dangling by his waist.
But with his family watching, the picture session took a savage turn when the 12ft-long croc lunged at his arm and dragged him into the water.
He was rescued from the savage mauling, eventually with his IQ intact.
Woman shoots self in vagina
Responding to an “accidental gunshot wound” call at a residence in Thomaston, a city 40 miles from Macon, a sheriff’s deputy encountered an EMS worker in the property’s driveway around noon on November 9.
The paramedic–who was holding an unloaded handgun and a spent bullet casing in her hands–explained that, “the female had shot herself in her vagina, accidentally.”
Nothing to say about this apart from “ooph!”
Shepherd’s pie kills woman, 92, as chef admits ‘rushing’ food
Man who survived Channel boat tragedy ‘plans to cross again’ to pay for sister’s medical expenses
More Beyond Satire stories here
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