J K Rowling Relieved She is Not Secretly Behind Daily Squib Stories

After her own PR people recently rumbled her pseudonym written book because clearly sales were not moving in the right direction, J K Rowling has emphatically denied she is behind anything written in the Daily Squib.

“You muggles really are a bunch of simpletons. Why on earth would I write anything for that awful rag? I only ever wrote stuff for the Daily Prophet! I’ve got a good mind to banish the lot of you to Azkaban. Expelliarmus, and all that,” J K Rowling said from her mansion’s living room whilst swimming knee deep in fifty pound notes.

The Daily Squib editor for our newspaper’s spells section said: “Poor old J K, I actually don’t think she’ll ever get away from the Harry Potter thing. She really needs to go back and start writing some more Potter stuff. It’s the only way forward.”