It’s like a who’s who of crying, in one corner is Kate Middleton bawling her eyes out, in another corner is Meghan Markle crying like a fucking baby, and all around are other ladies all crying.

Or maybe they are not crying, maybe one of them is acting, maybe onions are involved in the sordid crying matter?

“Sniff!”

Who’s crying this time, aww is your mental state a bit fragile? Like you can bully and dismiss whole battalions of people with ruthless efficiency, but the slightest bad press makes you cry?

Oh, look what you have done now, Harry is crying in the corner as well. Just as soon as we get off our private jet and the servants unload the bags of money…

Privacy?

You made me cry now, and I am going to report it on a chat show watched by millions of people. Ooh! I’m going to pull out my race card now and tattle tale.

He said, she said! Take my word for it.

Please give me as much sympathy as possible.

Waaaaah!