UK Government: Satirical News Now Indistinguishable From Actual News

LONDON - England - The Coalition government's media spokesman has declared that satirical news is now indistinguishable from real news in a recent report.

“What we do in the Coalition government is frankly ludicrous. We’re in chaos and one only has to see the headlines to see this fact. Is it satire or reality? It’s very hard these days to see the difference,” Edward Mulrooney, the head of the government’s PR team cited in the report.

The Prime Minister himself has vowed to change the way people view the Conservatives and said this in a high pitched falsetto voice: “Swivel eyed loons? No, I want people to take us seriously. Did I just say that? Stop sneering at me you little oik, I want you to take me seriously, waah hah hah hah eeeep eep eep!”

Nick Clegg, leader of the Lib Dems provided even more lunacy yesterday when he told everyone he was fully committed to Britain staying in the EU. To loud guffaws from the backbenches, he was stretchered off to the parliament’s welfare office crying like a little girl.

“You must take us seriously. We are serious in our policies. Honestly..” Mr Cameron said with his eyes moving around erratically.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    1 day ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    2 days ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.