Entertainment

Cardi B Loses Cardigan in Knitting Accident

LOS ANGELES - USA - Urgent reports are coming in that celebrity Cardi B has lost her cardigan in a knitting accident, or something like that.

It has been reported that a celebrity called Cardi B, who not many people have heard of, has lost her cardigan in a freak knitting accident.

According to showbiz outlets, the so-called star was knitting another G-string for her new autotune performance in front of screaming 10-year-old girls, when she accidentally made a cardigan before losing it later on in the day.

“My leetle brain it cannot comprehend. I knit this and that and lose it, I wanted a G-string for my porno show but instead I knit a cardigan for my poodle. I do not know what a cardigan is, I had to look it up in a dictionary, plus I cannot read or write but my maid tell me the words,” a distraught Cardi B was quoted as saying.

The current celebrity world is completely up in arms about this recent setback, and many are thankfully thinking of suicide as an option.

The drama was reported in all showbiz celebrity news sources and has now gone viral amongst the brain-dead.

Curiously enough, no one knows if the reports are true and many don’t fucking care.

If anyone knows who Cardi B is, or was, please keep it to yourself and do not spread it all over some inconsequential social network.

Developing Story

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Nvidia’s Huang Put His Wang in a Huang

    SILICON VALLEY - USA - Nvidia shares have fallen sharply after the CEO Jensen Huang…

    40 mins ago

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.