Entertainment

Meghan Markle Proud of Her Pre-Op Teenage Years

ONTARIO - Canada - Former royal, Meghan Markle has been reminiscing about her teenage pre-plastic surgery days.

Former member of the Windsor family, Meghan Markle has been relating back to her teenage years, after her dad released some lovely pictures showing the budding beauty who was to become so famous.

“I’m glad my dad released those pics of me before I made him pay thousands of dollars in plastic surgery and skin whitening,” Meghan told trash celebrity site TMZ.

The pictures were taken when Meghan was only 15 years old, and show how she has profoundly changed her looks and skin colour in order to one day fool a member of Britain’s royal family into marrying her.

“To get the plastic finished look I have today, I made my dad pay literally hundreds of thousands of dollars, and then I ghosted him. Even though I made shit loads of cash, and married a rich chump, I never paid my dad back, and I treated him like a piece of trash.”

Meghan and Harry, who have lost their HRH style, are now encamped in a Russian Kremlin-tied criminal’s 12 million dollar villa in Canada.

“Every morning I awake, I brush my fake veneer teeth, put on makeup on my fake face, and fake a smile to Harry who I am using until his usefulness is used up,” she says hurriedly, looking at her watch.

Glad to be out of Britain which is a country she detests because unlike America, people actually saw her for what she is, Meghan is keen to start cashing in on her fame by fleecing the dumb Americans with her fake celebrity.

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