World

Xi Jinping: “Everything is Okay in China”

BEIJING - China - President XI Jinping has assured the world during a press conference that everything is okay in the coronavirus hit nation and there is nothing to worry about.

The Chinese president, Xi Jinping has pronounced today at an impromptu press conference that the situation is under control in China and everyone is doing just fine.

“Dear Comrades, there is nothing to worry about. Everything is dandy, and I can confidently inform you that everything is under control in the coronavirus hit area of the whole of China. There is nothing to worry about, in fact I encourage you all to congregate at the live food markets again where they sell bats, rats, and assorted snakes so you can eat these Chinese delicacies to your hearts content.”

在中國一切都很好

One reporter during the conference dared to ask the president about the mass graves where thousands of Chinese people are being dumped daily. He was immediately silenced and thrown out by six burly guards.

President XI Jinping also today announced to the communist nation that Chinese New Year festivities will be extended for a whole year to celebrate this especially auspicious time.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 days ago

    Chinese Scientists Rejuvenating the Seriously Ill Leader Xi Jinping

    BEIJING - China - Chinese scientists are successfully rejuvenating the seriously ill CCP leader Xi…

    6 days ago

    Looking Forward to the Nightmare Labour Budget

    MANCHESTER - England - Are you looking forward to the nightmare Labour budget?

    7 days ago

    Experts: True Change Can Only Come From the Population – Not the Government

    FRANCE - To effect any form of true change in any given Western nation, the…

    2 weeks ago

    Trump Going Through Blondes Like Lost Election Promises

    WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Another Trump blonde exits almost as fast as she entered…

    2 weeks ago

    Comrades, We Are Now Coming For Internet Tax to Fund Welfare State and BBC

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrades, you will pay an internet tax to pay for the…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.