Music Biz Autotune Songs Now Used to Torture Inmates in Secret CIA Centres

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - The music biz has come a long way since the days when artists and musicians sang and wrote their own music. With the autotune and vocoder vocals used in every song released these days, the disservice to music has been terrible but service to torture has been great.

It is very hard to distinguish singers in the year 2012 as all vocals are put through autotune and the vocoder processors reducing their warbles to a machine made gloop of degenerative detritous.

“Listen to ten songs from ten different artists in 2012 and there is no distinction in vocal style, sound or inflection. It is only after you see these so-called artists you realise that they are different people albeit wearing the same type of clothes,” a former recording executive for Warner Bros record company told Media Week magazine.

Well, it may be a sad end to music lovers in today’s current music scene, but it is a massive gain for the CIA.

A new Pentagon report has revealed that the CIA, based in Virginia, have found a use for the music of today — to torture Islamic fighters into revealing everything they know.

“We found that the sound of autotuned vocals going through the vocoder process is infinitely more annoying than a group of mosquitoes buzzing around your f*cking head at three in the morning. You put some Arab in a room and stick some headphones on his head, pipe this pop crap through them and you get results fast. Forget waterboarding, this shit works. We had that Dick Cheney guy in last week, he may be retired but he likes to come along sometimes, says it reminds him of the old days. Well, we showed him the headphone trick and seeing that Arab goat herder singing like a canary brought a tear to his eye. He loved it and said we should carry on doing more of this stuff,” a CIA operative revealed.

The CIA is now using the groundbreaking torture techniques all over the world at secret CIA installations where torture is permissible.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    17 hours ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    1 day ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    2 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    4 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    5 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.