Jamie Oliver to Open New Chain of Restaurants

TV chef Jamie Oliver is to open a new chain of restaurants in the Shoreditch area.

The restaurants will be called ‘Fat Tongue’ and only serve dishes of tongue, the chef revealed Tuesday.

“I wanted to open a chain of restaurants that exemplify my personality and makeup. Look at my tongue *sticking tongue out*. It’s a fat tongue, and it goes with my mockney accent very well. We’ll be selling tongue, lashings of fucking tongue, here, there and everywhere. Innit!”

BBC7 will be airing a docu-series about Fat Tongue and show the inner workings of the restaurant chain with boss Jamie Oliver waving his fat fucking tongue around for everyone to see. The show should air in October.

“Jubbly”

The menu for the chain will be the usual slop Oliver likes to present, but with the added bonus of having ox tongue, pig tongue, and sheep tongue along with delicacies like grouse tongue.

“I’ve seen Jamie Oliver’s fat tongue, and have been in awe at it’s sheer magnitude for some time,” chef Alonso Mulligatawny, told BBC newsnight.

The restaurant chain will prove lucrative to the TV chef and his business partners, when it will probably be liquidated in a year or so.